Recently, before a performance, I had a chance to pray and share a meal with a number of students who are part of the Newman Center at Portland State University. They are a small minority pursuing their studies in an educational environment that some would describe as "Godless," yet they are sincerely trying to live the Gospel message.

Since it was a local show I decided to bring along some of my children who normally don’t get to see Daddy perform. The younger ones know that Daddy does "shows," but they have no idea what on earth that means, even though our household is filled with dramatic episodes. My son John, 7, had never seen Saint Francis so he was excited to be a part of the entire affair. I sat at the dinner table, before all the students with John at my left, and began to read the Scriptures before the meal. As I folded my hands to pray, naturally I leaned my elbows on the table. Suddenly my little Johnny knocked my elbows off the table. You see, he has been taught good table manners by his grandpa, and is now on a mission to correct any abuses that he sees. Luckily I kept my balance, and continued, thankful for the little correction. At just that moment I read the words "thankfulness for the discipline of trials and temptations." After which my son lit a candle to remind us of the Sabbath vigil that night.

It dawned on me that these words are a perfect meditation for all of us during this Advent and Christmas seasons, because we are so prone to distraction, confusion, discouragement, and a desire for worldly comfort at this time of the year. The world doesn’t teach us to be thankful for the discipline of trials and temptations, but to despise any form of discipline. Because of this we never truly recognize the presence of God in our midst.

I often feel so overwhelmed by the task at hand. How can I be a better husband to my wife and a father to my children? How can I adequately meet their needs and still accomplish all the work that demands attention? When I look at my office, with its hundreds of letters and phones messages and mess how shall I juggle all these details? The answer is very simple: I need to pray from the heart and to rediscover the mystery of the "Word made Flesh."

When I performed that night my son, Johnny sat in the front row. For one hour I was the incarnation of Saint Francis of Assisi in the imagination of the audience. It was really something to see that he also could separate Dad from Saint, enter into the story, and perhaps for a moment feel the presence of God. This is exactly why God gives us saints - to remind us again and again that the Creator became a creature and lived among us. I really pray that each of us will never let our trials and temptations brings us down, but that with the Christ-Child we can be lifted up.

That night I tucked Johnny into bed and thanked him for coming with me. Thank you Lord for my children and the graces that flow from them to me. May each and every one of you be blessed. Please continue to pray for us as we will for you.

God bless you,

Of course then I completely panicked. The church is in an urban neighborhood, and all I could picture was John terrified and maybe starting to walk to the freeway. I didn’t think he would have it together enough to head for the office. I ran into the house and didn’t know what to do. I thought I’d better listen to the messages on the machine, of which there were several, in case someone had left one saying that they had taken Johnny home. It was a nightmare weeding through the other trivial messages in the hopes of one from a friend who had found him. There was nothing on there. So then I thought I’d better call the office at the church. "Hello, I think I left... I mean I know I left my son at the church. Has anyone...turned in a young boy?" No luck. So I rushed out of the house, to head back across town, cell phone in hand so that the five other kids could call me if they got any news. Just as I was leaving, the phone rang and sure enough a friend had seen him alone in the parking lot and had taken him into the office.

I was so afraid he would be a traumatized mass of tears. What an experience of abandonment! Would he remember it for years and never trust his mother again? When I got there, I found Johnny sitting quietly on a bench in the entryway, smiling peacefully. He was just fine. I guess my friend must have gotten to him when he was just a bit confused. "I’m looking for our car," he told her. "My mom parked it right there." She took him under her wing right away, so he didn’t have time to feel terrified. Thank God! I really feel that it was a great mercy that he was so protected. That night he had a nightmare about monsters, and crawled into my bed, but after that it never seems to have bothered him again.

The thing was, it made me feel like such a negligent mother. No denying it was a stupid, spacey thing to do, and I felt very vulnerable and unsure of myself for quite a while after. But as I said I suppose in the end I benefited from the experience. Hopefully I’ll be more careful (no guarantees) but mainly I was brought up against my own weakness and forced to realize the incredible protection that only God provides. It gives me more compassion for others’ mistakes, and chips away at my pride. Since Johnny wasn’t hurt, I can thank God for showing me again how much I am totally at His mercy for all the good that is accomplished in my family. He does it all.

Please make a financial contribution to these new projects

THERESE: THE STORY OF A SOUL Video.

Budget: $250,000

This new video will bring our powerful live drama to television audiences. Production planned for the summer of 1999. Here’s one of the many comments we have received on the live performance: "Actress Maggie Mahrt is awesome!. Congratulations on such a beautiful portrayal!"

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JOHN Live Drama.

Budget: $40,000

To be performed by Leonardo Defilippis for the celebration and the 2000 year anniversary of Christ’s birth, and also the 20th anniversary of Saint Luke Productions. Call for scheduling info. 

The JOHN OF THE CROSS Film was nominated to receive one of the top three awards at The Worldfest Film Festival. We will keep you informed of the results once we know.

The CD of the original musical soundtrack of JOHN OF THE CROSS is now available. This beautiful orchestral work stands on its own as a piece of music that you will listen to over and over again. Also included are composer Randy DeBruyn fascinating reflections on how he wrote the score. Spread the word. It would make a great gift.