Family Reflections by Patti Defilippis

Summer 2010

A busy weekend ahead of me, with lots of driving to soccer games, dances, Mass, a baby shower, the grocery store - not to mention filling out forms for college financial aid, writing newsletter articles, cleaning the house, cooking meals, reading stories, talking on the phone to absent husband and adult daughter, defrosting the freezer and ordering pork and lamb from a farming friend, and most important, listening to each person’s worries with complete and loving attention. Such is my busy, diverse life as chief happiness provider for my entire brood. Sometimes I don’t handle all of this very cheerfully.

A priest recently encouraged me to go forth and be a source of joy to my family. He made me think how much my moods affect those around me. I am reminded of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. Her most important directive to her sisters, and it remains the central charism of her order, was to smile all the day long, through every circumstance. It sounds so simple, but I see that this is the key to my vocation as a mother. If I am tired, if I am stressed, everyone feels it and our home stops being a place of sanctuary, joy and rest. If, on the other hand, I can smile through my troubles, if I can focus on how my mood directs the mood of my family, I can really change the world in some small way. Perhaps I don’t feel that peace interiorly, and I need to limit my activities some so that I don’t reach a breaking point. But if I can at least smile, and maybe even laugh, no matter what I am experiencing inside, I am doing my job.

To be a mother is exhausting, but to create a space of peace and security for my family – even if it is a space that is less than clean and ordered, even if the meals are late, and the bedtimes irregular - (one of these days I’ll get those things under control) depends on my attitude.

God grant me the grace to smile in the midst of chaos, of turmoil, and of uncertainty. Give me an open heart to listen to those who open up to me, and the words to say that give them hope and trust in Your Mercy and ever-present love.